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To Eat or Not's Journal
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Date:2012-02-27 14:46

So starting tomorrow, applefor breakfast, protein barfor lunch, orangefor dinner. Feedback?

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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Date:2007-05-23 18:01
Mood: surprised

How do you puke the easy way?  
i've tried throwing up when i've over eaten but i can;t seem to do it, how long does it take and is there anything i can take to help me throw up food?

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Date:2005-10-03 23:13


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Date:2005-07-13 04:10
Subject:new community! unconditional support and acceptance...

...specializing in bulima. i'm a veteran/recovering bulimic, i'm very open and very human. i've created a new community in the hope that people can find absolutely unconditional support and acceptance, an environment where it's safe to ask the hardest questions and get a more candid answer than you'd ever expect your highschool sex-ed teacher to give you! : ) this community is for people in the disease of ANY STAGE, whether you're in denial, you know you're sick but you're not ready to give up your disorder, you'd just like to talk about the affect it has on you, you're afraid and feeling out of control or that the disease has become mixed up with your identity or sense of stability, or you're in the recovery stage and you're actively fighting. anorexics and EDNOS more than welcome, bulimia just happens to be my own demon and i know it far more intimately than i'd like to...

come check it out. it's brand new but a few great people have stopped by. if you'd like a new stage for your voice, here it is...

thanks for reading. best wishes and take care...

xoxox rude_waif


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Date:2005-05-14 11:27

Hey,this is a new ed-community and we are looking for new members.It is already very active and im really looking forward to seeing you there :)
Image hosted by TinyPic.com

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Date:2005-05-08 15:18

Hey,this is a new community and we are looking for new members.It is already very active and im really looking forward to seeing you there :)

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Date:2005-05-04 12:52

Join fixmymirror now! We are a new community for any eating disorder, and are in need of new members!

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Date:2005-04-27 13:29
Subject:an outcry.....
Mood: crushed

A whole community attacked me because I psted a picture of me and i am fat. they said such mean things. My friends and family tell me im beautiful and like 30 people fat bashing me is getting really hard to handle as the days go by more and more people are commenting and only like 3 are taking up for me..im wiggin out so bad-I don't want to be fat-no one does. to bad tears aren't body fat.....i've lost tons.

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Date:2005-04-20 22:00

Hi all, Im new!
my name is lilahmae, Im 18 and have been struggling with ana for quite awhile now. I had a bad day today so decided to stop lurking at all the best communities and go ahead and join. i will treasure your support and will offer mine cuz i know how awful things can get. feel free to add me if you like!

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Date:2005-01-29 11:05

hey! first i'd like to say, thank god for no talk of mk. i want to lose weight, but i want to do it in a healthy way. and it's sad when people post pictures of twigs and say they don't eat to look like that.

anyway, i tend to overeat when i'm home alone and at night. it's really really bad cuz i know what's what puts on a lot of the weight.

PLEASE feel free to add me because i need all the support i can get.

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Date:2002-01-26 13:37
Subject:Hey, I'm new. Worship me???? :P
Mood: groggy

Hey, everyone.

I am new and, well, I used to weigh 240lbs.
Now I am 197lbs but I am STUCK.
I have reached a plateau. And, that SUCKS.
I used to have compulsive eating disorder but no one actually labelled me.
And, well, I have found that I did have it, and finally my doctors agreed. Morons. They should have just said it. Instead of saying "we need to deal with your weight" they could have just said I have an ED.
Bastards. >.< Excuse my language. :P heh.
Well, I am new here to LJ but I have met some really really nice people here so far. And, that is nice. ^.^ I am Emma. I am 18 years old, crazy, gothic, an actress and...well...have always been teased for my weight. Nice. I WAS always known as the "fat kid" - the elephant (LOL) and..
it just is not nice. I LOST ALL MY WEIGHT when i was 13. :D
But then due to my father abusing me and stuff, I put it all back on.
Then last year when I went to a psyc unit for 8 months, I put on even more. I ended up becoming, yes believe it or not, 240lbs.
And, that is just really sad. Really. I would eat and eat and eat until I could not breathe.

Anyway, I have turned my life around and am slowly getting better.
I have lost three stone!!!
BUT I am stuck at 197 and it is really really hard for me.
I do have mia tendancies. I only purge if I eat fatty things. Like cakes, etc. I dont purge if I have fruit, salads or things like that.
And, I tend to go on 4/5 days just having chewing gum, diet coke and some healthy fruit bar thing. But, i have not lost anytying in the past week so i am upset.

I joined this to not only offer help to anyone who is struggling with their weight, but also as I know it is a safe place and no one will be judged about their weight and, that, I like.
Feel free to message me any time, all of you.

I am here to listen.
I am here to care.
I am here to help.
And, I am here to share.


Emma. xxoxoxox

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Date:2005-01-09 02:32

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Date:2004-12-07 21:14
Subject:Eating Disorders Research

(If you’ve seen this on other communities, its been UPDATED, please read) Hey everyone, Id like to introduce myself. My name is Lindsay and Im 22, a graduate from SUNY Fredonia. I will be going on to grad school in Fall 2005 and in the meantime I want to do some research. I will be going on to school for social work to study eating disorders. I am in the very early stages of putting together a lengthy survey that I plan to turn into a book (before I return to school).
This is where all of you come in. I would like to know if any of you would be interested in taking a survey such as this. It would be completely confidential (you would give only me personal info. for my record-keeping). This is going to be looked over by a lawyer before I send it out, so it will be very legit. The questions range from demographics (name, age, sex etc.)- personal data such as names would not be disclosed, to questions about your personal struggle, media influence, mental health background etc. I believe I am qualified to do research like this because I have struggled with an eating disorder for years, I feel like I have a non-judgemental outlook and the ability to ask questions that maybe haven't been asked before.
I’d like to make it CLEAR that I am looking to survey males and females of ALL shapes and sizes as well as current health statuses. If you have struggled with an eating disorder in the past or are now and you happen to be interested, great! If not, that is absolutly fine and I hope that I haven’t offended you by posting on this community. I have posted to this community because it includes the interest ‘eating disorder’. I am at the beginning of my research, and it will take me a lot of time to get a wide range of people (pro AND anti ana people etc.)
This is a rather non-personal email (sorry) that I intend to send to as many of these eating disorder based livejournal groups as possible. That is because I need help from ALL of you. If you are interested- email me
If you respond to this on a community, chances are I won’t see it for a very long time. This is because I am having very successful responses (YAY) from this post, and it takes me a very long time just keeping up with my emails. I am so sorry about that and I mean no disrespect to your community, if you feel that way then you may simply delete this post.
Please keep in mind that I am in the beginning stages and although I want to move the processes along quickly, it may take time before I am able to send the finalized survey out. If you email me, I will try my best to respond in a timely fashion and answer any questions you may have.
Thank you so much, Lindsay

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Date:2004-11-10 12:14

Hey girls. I have just created a new community for people with any eating disorder. You can do whatever you want there. Post thinspiration, share tips, whatever...please join. I want it to be a safe place for us all to go.


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Date:2004-09-12 19:55
Mood: crappy

Well this community is growing slowly but surely. so far we have myself 4startingover, innerbeauty09, justemodays, katieprincess, & kill_my_hope.
I would like to extend a huge welcome to all of you.

This weekend was a really rough weekend for me. I have recently moved back into my parents house after not living here for two years. I am 20 years old and a college freshman. I also recently broke up with my boyfriend who I lived with.

My emotions have been on a rollercoaster ride for some time now. Please dont take this as being too personal, but this is also the first time in a while which I got my period. I feel even more fat now then I do normally.

So what have I done about it? For a few days all I drank was V8. Now I am trying to be good and just restrict what I eat. But its hasnt been going that great so far. I ended up throwing up this past weekend after I had pizza twice in one day. First my company just opened a new store and they bought us pizza. I was trying to be good, but the next thing I knew there was our District Manager handing me pizza and standing next to me waiting for me to eat it.
Then that night I went out with some friends and we ended up at pizza hut. Imagine how they would have reacted if I had been like, umm.... please i just want a salad. They already think I am weird for wanting to be a vegetarian just because i dont like the taste of meat.

So yea, for me this has been a rough couple of days. I just woke up from a nap. I am going to need to do some serious cruntches. Maybe go on the treadmill.

While I was in the shower this morning I just kept thinking dear god your body resembles a cow. Its great to compair yourself to a cow. I keep trying different diet pills, but I always wake up in a cold sweat or they prevent me from sleeping... and I have a hard enough time not sleeping without the assistance of some outside source.


P.S. Everyone should have posting access. If you do not for some reason... please let me know.

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Date:2004-09-08 00:11
Subject:So ... let me introduce myself

Now it's possible ;)

Hi everyone ... I had yet another sleepless night so I re-created a Live journal AND joined this community, as you may have noticed. I'm 20 years old & on/off an ED for about 4 years, having a really #$^%&* period right now so any and every support is most appreciated. I do not know whether I am going to turn out to be a very active member and write often entries of my own here, but there is always my own journal and sure I will be watching and reading and reacting to the others :). I am more the supporting kind, having hard time letting someone closer to myself.

Take care -x-

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Date:2004-09-07 17:01
Mood: working

Hi everyone,
Just a quick update. I have changed the access to this account. Everyone should now be able to post here. Please feel free to start! If there are any problems please feel free to email me at lbauder@students.northampton.edu

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Date:2004-08-10 09:17
Mood: curious

Hey guys, we are certainly a very small community still. I am goin gto try to do some promoting this afternoon if I have the time. I was wondering how you guys are doing with your goals. How far? Have you reached them yet? Ect. And if you guys have any other goals. Even if they are unrelated to weight loss. I am interested in you guys as people not just ana buddies. :-)

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Date:2004-08-08 20:51
Subject:Just call me a Newbie!!
Mood: contemplative

Well Howdy to the fat busting community! I think my friends are very thankful that I found this site versus complaining to them and trust me, I’m ultra glad I found this community as well. I have to hear another, “You work out too much” or “You’re already skinny, just eat the damn cookie!” one more UNSOLICITED time I think I’m just going to be anoerixic! Instead of giving stats, I’ll just tell the tale:

To be honest, I’ve been decently skinny so far during my lifetime—I’ve never really had weight issues and even during my supposed “awkward” developmental stage, I could have cared less about carbs or calories. I was one of those sadly mistaken girls who believed they could “eat what I want and not a gain weight.” However, when I entered college instead of gaining the usual “Freshmen 15,” I actually lost 10 lbs. Being a tiny person already, I didn’t think people noticed since I didn’t notice myself! But when I went home for break, everybody gave me such good praises. The usual “wow! You lost a lot of weight!” made me feel specatular and from that point on I’ve been on a one woman mission to be as skinny as possible.

That was went I started to work out…in the beginning, it was just to keep the weight off, then it gradually started to be come an obsession. I admit it, I’m obsession with working out! Even though, I know you have to rest for a day, I still feel guilty whenever I don’t do my usual 3 miles. But I digress…anyways, in the beginning it was all about being skinny, but now I’m at the point where I just want to be as toned as possible.

There was an incident last year when one of my stupid sorority sisters and a person I thought was a friend took it as their “caring cause” to spread throughout the university that I was anorexic. The ironic thing was the one of her best friends had an actual eating disorder and she witnessed the drama that it enused for her. But whatever…it sucked especially since I’M 100% NOT ANOREXIC!!! But I refused to gain back the weight I worked DAMN hard to take off and the muscle I sweated blood and tears to gain just to let their fat asses know that they were right. SCREW them! I’ve actually gotten a lot more health during the last few years. Simply because I rather eat a salad versus a double hamburger, doesn’t mean I have a damn disorder!

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Date:2004-08-05 00:41
Subject:Not a good day for me...
Mood: frustrated

Usually I am very aware of what I put into my body. I am trying to slowly become a vegetarian again. I felt better when I was a vegetarian. However, my downfall is coffee. Ten calories of warm goodness. Filling. Caffeine=metabloism booster. But today for some reason I wasnt even hungry and I just kept eatting. I work in a cafe and dinner was just redicious. I wish I could go back in time. I couldnt even do anything about it. I have this strict rule about people finding out that I have an eatting disorder, and purging at work is not an option. I was very upset withmyself for the rest of the night. I came home and took the dog for an extra long walk. The gym in my apt complex had already closed so I could go work out. I have a lot of guilt. I hate the "i ate and know I am overweight" guilt. I am having a very fat evening.

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